> Top One Hundred Reasons Why Captain Kirk is Better Than Captain Picard
> 
> 100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower. 
> 99. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look. 
> 98. Kirk has sex more than once a season. 
> 97. One Word: Hair. 
> 96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG. 
> 95. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed. 
> 94. Picard is a French man with an English accent. 
> 93. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and damn the consequences!! 
> 92. Kirk never drinks tea.  Ever. 
> 91. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk. 
> 90. Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge. 
> 89. Two words:  Shoulder Roll. 
> 88. Kirk doesn't wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch. 
> 87. Kirk once said: "I've got a belly-ache -- and it's a beauty." 
> 86. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis. 
> 85. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift. 
> 84. Kirk, almost single-handedly, re-populated the Earth's whale 
>     population. 
> 83. Kirk says "Prime Directive?  What Prime Directive?" 
> 82. Kirk knows 20th Century curses. 
> 81. Kirk was NEVER infiltrated by the Borg and used against the
>     Federation. 
> 80. Kirk ate little coloured cubes and still remainedrelatively healthy. 
> 79. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology. 
> 78. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical 
>     advantage. 
> 77. Kirk wasn't shy about taking his shirt off 
>     --even around those pesky Yeomans. 
> 76. Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill. 
> 75. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt. 
> 74. One Word:  Velour. 
> 73. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess. 
> 72. When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to 
>     climbing rocks. 
> 71. When Picard was 37, he was only Captain of the lowly freighter, 
>     Stargazer.  When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship 
>     Enterprise. 
> 70. Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and again. 
> 69. One Word: Iman. 68. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt. 
> 67. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head and shit down 
>     its neck. 
> 66. Kirk says "Shoot first and wait for retaliation." 
> 65. Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge. 
> 64. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out. 
> 63. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old
>     janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes. 
> 62. Two Words:  Funky Sideburns. 
> 61. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice. 
> 60. Kirk never once said "Abandon ship!  All hands abandon ship!" 
> 59. Kirk is not politically correct. 
> 58. Kirk never got "dumped" by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named
>     after a letter of the alphabet. 
> 57. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. 
> 56. If there was ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be 
>     dead. 
> 55. Ever hear of a bar shooter called "Make it so?" No?  How about a 
>     "Beam me up Scotty" then?  See the difference? 
> 54. One Word:  Miniskirts. 
> 53. Kirk's girlfriends always look good in soft light. 
> 52. Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red 
>     shirts. 
> 51. Kirk's first officer didn't play some wimpy instrument like the 
>     trombone. 
> 50. Kirk had more dates than his first officer. 
> 49. The extent of Kirk's knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly 
>     translated as "GO F*CK YOURSELF." 
> 48. If something doesn't speak English -- it's toast. 
> 47. Kirk wasn't some prissy archaeology fan. 
> 46. Picard's middle name isn't tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is. 
> 45. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up. 
> 44. Picard never met Joan Collins. 
> 43. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet. 
> 42  Picard hasn't fathered any children;  Kirk -- probably millions. 
> 41. Kirk has a cool phaser -- not some pansy Braun mix-master. 
> 40. Two Words:  Line Delivery. 
> 39. Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes 
>     with his toes, while Kirk slung bails of wheat and hay 
>     in Iowa to put himself through school. 
> 38. Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures. 
> 37. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate, 
>     charcoal and then fired diamonds into the hearts of his 
>     enemies.  (Need we say more?) 
> 36. Kirk is not put off by green skin. 
> 35. Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs. 
> 34. Kirk once fought a Greek god.  And won. 
> 33. Kirk barely asks for suggestions.  And if he does, he asks Spock only. 
> 32. Kirk doesn't let the doctor tell him what to do. 
> 31. One Word: Fisticuffs. 
> 30. Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy. 
> 29. Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but he doesn't let it show. 
> 28. You can never lock up Kirk for very long. 
> 27. Kirk's eulogies can actually make you cry. 
> 26. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for
>     resources. 
> 25. Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician. 
> 24. Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything. 
> 23. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses. 
> 22. The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender -- until they met Kirk. 
> 21. Kirk's bridge is not beige. 
> 20.Two Words:  Crane Shots. 
> 19. Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it. 
> 18. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute 
>     things, like Tribbles. 
> 17. Kirk is a cultural icon -- Picard is just some guy who's really nice. 
> 16. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge. 
> 15. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL. 
> 14. Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses -- and nobody dares to 
>     call him"four eyes." 
> 13. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily. 
> 12. Picard likes painting nudes, for art's sake. 
> 11. When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them.  When Picard
>     doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at. 
> 10. Kirk never once, ever,wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on
>     shore leave. 
> 9.  Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting 
>     ensign. 
> 8.  Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up. 
> 7.  When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he MEANS it. 
> 6.  Three Words:  Flying Leg Kick 
> 5.  Picard's crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object. 
> 4.  Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even 
>     impressed. 
> 3.  Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets. 
> 2.  Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail. 
> 1.  One Word:  Balls.